Differences: Dom/Top and Sub/bottom

What to YOU is the difference between a Dom and a Top?
Sub and a bottom?


(Apply gender as it works for you in this answer)

These are my thoughts. They fluctuate often as I learn new things and encounter new dynamics and the people involved in those dynamics. They are in no way intended to encompass or describe a one true way definition of Dom, Top, sub or bottom.*

To me, the biggest difference is in the level of need to dominate and the level of need to submit. Continue reading

Why do you Poly

openlife13Why do you poly? Why do you have an open marriage? These are questions that have been bouncing around in my head for a few weeks, consuming much of my thought time. I know why I poly. I know why I want an open marriage. I will share my reasons in this post and I hope you might do the same in the comments. Continue reading

Consent Done Right

consentmatters16Whistling my favorite song, happily slapping the mortar onto the brightly colored and well glittered bricks that make up the walls that guard my heart. Gleefully stacking them haphazardly atop each other between posting lines from my naughty stories and my thoughts on sex and submission and even a naughty picture or ten. Giggling along in my safe little corner of the cyber world, or playing with my friends and flirting with all the sexxies. Continue reading

So you want to play with the princess…. ok, but first…

So I read this article on Fetlife — So, You Want to Play with my Sub — and, of course, it created all the thought bubbles in my head and so here we are with a new post.

I like everything the writer has to say in the article. I agree with him 100 percent. If you are a new Dom or new to the scene or even just new to the sub you would like to play with, there is a very wrong way and several right ways to go about doing asking to do so.  The writer of the article stopped at saying no to the interested person who went about asking in the wrong way, but I believe there is more to be said on the subject. If there is a wrong way to do something, then it stands to reason that there is also a right way to do it. Working off the premise that the only reason an interested party would approach a Dom in the way described in the original article, is that they are very uneducated about the lifestyle, about protocol, possibly even about manners, I offer some advice to possibly do it better. Continue reading