I want you…

I want you to see her and feel that little tingle of possibility and excitement.
I want you to say hi to her and pour on that amazing charm of yours and see if she might feel it too.
I want you to smile when she says flattering things about you in the throes of all that sparkly, shiny new relationship energy the two of you will experience.
I want you to feel arousal when she sweetly compliments all the wonderful things about you that she is discovering as the two of you get to know each other. I want your cock to twitch and stiffen when she sends those first naughty pictures to you and I want that desire to grow with every photo and dirty text that follows.
I want you to chuckle as you discover her weak spots, as you find what makes her blush and just what buttons you can push to make her panties wet.
I want you to seek out the places along her neck that make her tingle, find the places along her fingertips that make her moan and that secret spot that maybe no one else has discovered yet.
I want you to set a personal ring tone for her because of a shared inside joke between the two of you and then… I want you to smile when it comes across your phone.
I want you to plan dates with her and plan nights for the three of us and when I’m involved with someone, for the four of us.
I want you to negotiate scenes with her and genuinely enjoy them when they happen. I want you to learn her triggers and her boundaries and I want her aftercare to be important to you.
I want you to buy her flowers and remember her birthday. I want you to know her favorite color and her darkest fantasy and her biggest dream.
I want her to be the center of your focus when you are with her. Touch her. Kiss her. Make her laugh and laugh at her silliness. Be playful. Be flirty. I want you to have fun with her.
I want you to be important to her and I want her to be important to you. I want you to develop your relationship with her in a natural and open and free way that feels good to you both.

and…

I want you to see me and feel like you’ve come home, to know you are safe and loved.
I want you to know that my arms love holding you, my lips love kissing you, my body loves every touch, every caress, every moment it is next to yours. I want you to know that I still crave your attention, still want you to pet me with my head on your chest, that I want your fingers in my hair and your skin under my lips.
I want you to feel warm and tingly when I tell you how much I love you. I want you to know that I mean it with every fiber of my being.
I want you to rediscover all the secret places of my mind and visit often the treasure troves of pleasure my body has to offer you.
I want my ringtone to make you smile. I want my voice to settle you, to calm you, to center you.
I want to be your refuge from life’s storms, your safe place in a dark and sometimes despondent world.
I want to be Saturday night’s hot sex and Monday morning’s quickie before work. I want to be the crazy sex on the hood of the car down a dark, deserted street and the back alley blow job.
I want to be your strength, your voice of reason, and your crazy partner in crime.
When your heart breaks, I want to be the glue that puts the pieces back together.
I want you to love me for the rest of our lives. I want to live every day of our crazy lives even more in love with each other than we are today. I want to make memories with you and spend our lives telling the stories of those memories.

and…

I want you to smile when something sweet he does or says makes me smile or makes me blush.
I want you to get a little hot and bothered when you see us kissing or sharing an intimate moment together.
I want you to listen to me happily talk about our date, our scene, our conversation. I want you to know that we carefully negotiate any scene play we plan to do and that we are careful when we plan our playtime. I want you to understand and appreciate that he wants to know my triggers, my boundaries… that he will be careful with that knowledge once he has it. I want you to expect him to care for me after a scene, to expect him to treat me right and to expect him to be sure that my aftercare needs are met when he and I play together.
I want you to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are respected and that your place in my life is held in high regard by him. I want you to know that your concerns are heard, that your fears are not dismissed in our developing relationship.
I want you to smile when you hear his ringtone because you know it made me smile when it went off. I want you to be curious about the story behind it and find the humor or the sweetness in it when I share it with you.
I want you to encourage him to be good to me. I want you to understand that I am not interested in just fucking someone new. I want relationships with the people I interact with. I want you to love that about me. I want to touch people’s lives and I want to be touched by theirs. I want to flirt and play and laugh and joke and have fun with them and I want you to be a part of the smiles that those moments create. I want you to fall in love with my laugh, even when someone else is the reason behind it.
I want to be able to tell you we have a date planned and know that you are happy for me to have time to spend with him. I want it to be easy to tell you about the date and know that you will plan your own date or some much needed alone time or some Daddy son time with boys.

More than all of that, I want you. I want you in my life. I want you to know you are loved. I want you heart, mind, body and soul. I want you first and I want you last and I want you everywhere in between. And, I want you and want to be wanted by you, even when I want him and you want her and our life is so filled with love and friendships and flirting that we can’t hardly see straight, I still want you. I still want this life we’ve built. When life goes crazy I’ll still want you. I’ll still love you. I’ll still need you. My love. My husband. My best friend. My Daddy. My partner in crime and my safe place.

4 comments on “I want you…

  1. rhojoprocesses says:

    Ok yeah, this brought tears. Great job.

    Like

  2. missautumn21 says:

    Well I just bawled my eyes out reading this. Is this real? Does this really work? Does he really feel this way and do you really feel this way? I want so badly for this to be real. And if it is, I want so badly to find this in my life.

    Like

    • kinkibella says:

      I really do feel this way about the relationships my husband develops. This post was written as he was struggling to find the same peace and joy for me as my first external relationship developed. I wrote it because sometimes he has a hard time seeing the parallels between what he is doing and what I am doing. I wanted to help him to see what good things I see in his external relationships, I wanted to remind him that even when we are both involved with others our love is not lessened and I wanted to show him the joy I was finding in my new relationship, to help open his eyes so that maybe he could see it from the same perspective as I did. It has been a very hard few months as we have talked and talked and talked and talked ourselves damn near to death to find the happiness that we both know in our hearts poly holds for us. Poly is not easy, but man oh man is it worth it. I hope that you do find it.

      Like

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