Differences: Dom/Top and Sub/bottom

THE QUESTION:
What to YOU is the difference between a Dom and a Top?
Sub and a bottom?


*Disclaimers:

(Apply gender as it works for you in this answer)

These are my thoughts. They fluctuate often as I learn new things and encounter new dynamics and the people involved in those dynamics. They are in no way intended to encompass or describe a one true way definition of Dom, Top, sub or bottom.*


To me, the biggest difference is in the level of need to dominate and the level of need to submit. Continue reading

Strong Foundations – Back to Basics

polyOver the last year, we have been through a fuckton of changes in our non-monogamy.  I don’t really know what else to call it. We are definitely not monogamous. We’re past the notch in the bedpost, fucking for sport, just sex swinging but not quite all the way to poly. But, it’s not door swung wide, no holds barred, floundering in the deep end open either. I’m just not sure what the fuck to call it. So, for now, let’s just stick with calling it our non-monogamy. Continue reading

Living a life to be loved

lifeisgood1

 

 

The world is dark beyond the windows. The house is quiet as the kids sleep. We are having coffee. Daddy on his playstation playing baseball and I on my computer, perving fetlife and writing. I love these quiet mornings shared over coffee. Continue reading

Why do you Poly

openlife13Why do you poly? Why do you have an open marriage? These are questions that have been bouncing around in my head for a few weeks, consuming much of my thought time. I know why I poly. I know why I want an open marriage. I will share my reasons in this post and I hope you might do the same in the comments. Continue reading

Relationship OCD

I am the kind of person who functions best with very clearly defined expectations of anything from a task to the relationships I engage in. I don’t do well with vague, I don’t do well with shifting. I don’t do well with unexpected change.

This is really hitting home to me today in the realm of my relationships. I’m not talking about new, budding and finding their way relationships. But instead the ones that have already gone past the new relationship energy and settled into what they are. I am very flexible in my ability to have all sorts of different relationships and feelings for people on every level imaginable. Continue reading