Differences: Dom/Top and Sub/bottom

THE QUESTION:
What to YOU is the difference between a Dom and a Top?
Sub and a bottom?


*Disclaimers:

(Apply gender as it works for you in this answer)

These are my thoughts. They fluctuate often as I learn new things and encounter new dynamics and the people involved in those dynamics. They are in no way intended to encompass or describe a one true way definition of Dom, Top, sub or bottom.*


To me, the biggest difference is in the level of need to dominate and the level of need to submit. Continue reading

Relationship OCD

I am the kind of person who functions best with very clearly defined expectations of anything from a task to the relationships I engage in. I don’t do well with vague, I don’t do well with shifting. I don’t do well with unexpected change.

This is really hitting home to me today in the realm of my relationships. I’m not talking about new, budding and finding their way relationships. But instead the ones that have already gone past the new relationship energy and settled into what they are. I am very flexible in my ability to have all sorts of different relationships and feelings for people on every level imaginable. Continue reading

My Crazy Life… The growth continues

openlife10Over the course of the last three or four months, my marriage has been evolving at an almost startling pace. In particular, it’s been very surreal this past month or so. In that very short period of time, my husband of almost 14 years, figured out and came to terms with the fact that he could have strong enough feelings for another woman to consider that he might be in love with her. We talked and talked and talked and talked some more to get our heads around that. With that realization came another… if he could fall / be in love with someone else without it affecting his love and affection for me, then he had to believe that I was capable of doing the same. After that realization, I was given a mess of new freedoms, everything from talking with whoever I wanted to online to being able to start actively seeking a local playmate and getting back on twitter. Continue reading

Consent Done Right

consentmatters16Whistling my favorite song, happily slapping the mortar onto the brightly colored and well glittered bricks that make up the walls that guard my heart. Gleefully stacking them haphazardly atop each other between posting lines from my naughty stories and my thoughts on sex and submission and even a naughty picture or ten. Giggling along in my safe little corner of the cyber world, or playing with my friends and flirting with all the sexxies. Continue reading

Stroking My Mental G-Spot

mentalgspot6I will be 39 in two months. From everything I’ve ever read and everything I’ve ever heard, I should be hitting my sexual prime right about now. Craving sex, wanting it, needing it, must having it. Soooooo… that leaves me to wonder just where the fuck has my libido run off too.

mentalgspot4It’s been gone now for a few weeks. Just gone. Online, offline, alone, with my partners… doesn’t matter. The desire level is frighteningly low, especially for me. Anyone who knows me at all, knows that I am a highly sexual creature. I love sex and all things sexual. But lately, it’s just gone. How does that happen? It’s very strange. I’ve been thinking about it… a lot. Continue reading

The Kinklings, Week 4 Topic: Love

love1

Love. Wow. That is a pretty broad topic and I am a girl of many words. Let’s narrow this down a bit, shall we. I think I’ll stick to the idea of romantic love as I write today.

When I was a little girl, love looked like a fairy tale made up of Prince Charming and some sort of princess (usually in distress). Love was wonderful, rosy, easy, ya know… happily ever after and all that good stuff. At least it was on TV and in the story books and the movies and well… just about everywhere you looked. Continue reading

10 Day Writing Challenge: Day 4

Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot

 

My mind is a hot fucking mess that never seems to stop so this should be interesting.

 

1. FOOD. It seems like I’m always thinking about food. Cooking it, eating it, avoiding it, measuring it. I love to cook, I love to feed people. I love to eat and I’m in the process of trying to change the way I think about food. So yeah, food is on my mind a lot lately. Continue reading